Sensuality – What Is It? How it is important for us.

What comes to mind when you think of the word sensuality? Perhaps some pleasant experience that involves touching, seeing, smelling, tasting or feeling – such as walking on the beach or being massaged with sweet-smelling oil. The smell of your partner? Chocolate? These are sensual experiences that are ways of being in the now. They are typically neither goal oriented nor explicitly sexual. Rather, they reflect feelings you have about your partner.

Sensuality includes physical touch or other senses but is not always associated with sexuality. Holding hands, hugging, romantic talking, affectional cuddling, nonsexual massages – offer sensual arousal and pleasure in nonsexual ways.

Couples in the early part of their relationship usually engage in sensual touching. They hold hands, hug, and kiss. After years of living together, however, couples tend to bypass sensuality and move more to goal-oriented *** behavior. Less energy is spent on sensual contacts that were once so wonderful. With time, sex itself comes more a matter of *** performance than of emotional intimacy. Once sensuality drops out of the picture, couples have no way of connecting unless they have performance-oriented sex. That puts a lot of pressure on the *** relationship. How many times have you wanted to be physically close, without necessarily desiring sex?

Sometimes that means being vulnerable and sharing important things about yourselves; it could be having dinner and have the conversation be completely silly and kind of teasing where the content matters less than the underlying *** build-up; or it could be while in a group at a bar and he says something meaningless like “yeah, this new Tshirt is way less waterproof than I thought” and you reach out to touch his Tshirt casually to see what he means, but you both know what the touch really meant.

There needs to be a place for sensual talking and touching in your relationship this leads to sex without the overall context of intimate touching and closeness.

This leads to less sex. Why? Because men and women need and value the sensual side of intimacy for pleasure, attachment and arousal. Sensual experiences set the stage for better *** experiences.

For getting more information about sex therapist new york city. Dorothy C. Hayden, LCSW, is a couples counselor and *** consultant located in Manhattan, NY (SKYPE). Here website is: http://www.couplescounselor1.com/. She can be reached at 212-673-5717.